Mitchell Library, State Library of New South Wales

Samuel Marsden account of a voyage from London to Port Jackson on the William, 27 July 1793 – 15 July 1794

C 245

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Satur. July. 27

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1793

Spithead.
0

Satur July. 27:

This morning the Signal was given for us to weigh Anchor in Consequence of which the Ships under Convoy prepared for Sea – we have had a very fine Day; every thing around us yeilded a most beautiful Prospect – A large fleet under sail; Trees and fields on each hand together with a fair wind – we have just cast Anchor opposite Yarmouth were we shall be till to morrow – I am now about to quit my native Country with a View of preaching the everlasting Gospel – Oh! that Gd. wd. make my way prosperous, that the end of my going may be answered in the Conversion of many poor Souls – Ld. lift thou up the Light of thy Countenance upon me – may I walk in the Light as thou art in the Light –

Suny. 28. This morning we weighed Anchor with a fair wind and have sailed well all the Day, are now come up to Portland Island – How differently have I spent this Sabbath fm. what I have been accustomed used to – Once I wd. meet the People of Gd. wd. assemble wt them in the Ld’s. House but now am deprived of that invaluable Priviledge – In stead of living amongst them who love and serve the Ld. Jesus, spending the Sabbath in Prayer and Praises – I hear nothing

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but Oaths & Blasphemies – Ld. keep me amidst these ungodly sinners; and grant that I may neither in word or Deed Countenance their wicked Practises –

Mon 29. This Day we have made no sail at all, the wind hath been contrary all night, and still continues so – we are yet at Portland Island – Have been very sick & Mrs. M. all this Day, - what need for Prayer in time like these I am so sick as not to be able to write –

Tues. 30. The wind being right a head we were constrained to put into Waymouth Harbour the lastningt Night – Mrs. M. & I in company with a military Captain went on Shore, and slept at the Crown in Waymouth – the wind continues still against us – we have this day made a Visit to Portland Island with two Christian friends whom we accidently met with in Wayth. unknown to us before - wone One Mrs. Ladder, an Inhabitant of Waymouth, and a Mr. Green of Salsburry who is one of Mr Wesleys Preachers –

Wed. 31. The last night we slept on Portland Island in the morning notice was brought us that the Fleet was under Sail – we immediately made for the Sea Side but cd. not for a long time procure a boat to carry us on board the People on the Island dreading the Press

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dared not to come near the fleet – All the Ships were gone but ours, - The Captain was waiting of us; at length I was enabled to hail a boat which put us on board – we had no sooner got off turned Portland that the Wind came about again, and constrained the Commodore to bring us back to our former Place – I & Mrs. M. went again on Shore at Portland, and from thence to Weymouth with our Friend Mrs. Ladder – We went this evening to the Independent meeting House and heard Mr. Lamb a promising young man – may I improve in every means of Grace –

Thurs

August. Thursy. 1. Last night we ventured to sleep at Weymouth, as the wind continued against us – This morning I went to my Dear Friend the Revd. Mr. Foster of London informing him how far we had proceeded and to consult with him upon a particular Subject with which I am likely to be tried – The remaining part of the Day I spent in viewing Weymouth, conversing with a Friend or two – Oh! that my Soul was more alive to Lord that I were more earnest to obtain the Land of Canaan –

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to have performed divine Servise on board but finding myself so ill, and unable to do any Duty, defered mentioning my Intention – This Day brought the Israelites to memory, when they stat down by the waters of Babylon, and wept when they remembered Zion – Our Situation was not much unlike to their’s – we had been wont to meet in the great Congregation and worship with the Saints towards god’s holy Temple, but was now confined amongst those who have no Knowledge of the most High and who spend the Sabbath in Oaths and Blasphemies – O Ld shut not up my Soul with Sinners!

Muny. 23d. This morning our Commodore retook of [indecipherable] the French a vessel belonging to Hull Leith but happly no Lives were lost, as she was not able to make any Resistance – Oh. when whill will that happy time arrive when men shall learn war no more, when the Knowledge of the Ld. shall cover the Earth as the waters cover the Earth as the Sea –

Tues. 24. This Day I have been reading part of Dr. Dodd’s Thoughts in Prison: what an awful Instance of human Infirmity is here? how soon they lofty are brought down – ? what need of humility in every Situation, but more especially in the ministerial Office – How needful the Apostle’s Caution "let him that thinketh he stands take heed lest he fall" –

Wedy. 25th. The weather continues fine; yet we sail very slowly by Reason of some Ships

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which are unable to keep up with the fleet – How much useful Instruction may I learn from my present Situation – I have seen many Christians, like the swift ships, which easily make their way thro’ the boisterous waves, surmounting Difficulties and sweetly sailing thro’ life’s troublesome Sea, to the Haven of eternal Rest; while my own Soul hath been like one of those heavy sailing Ships, hardly able to make any way thro’ the Trials which lay before me – O Ld. quicken my Soul, and help me to bend my Course towards the celestial City with greater Diligence, and Activity –

Thury. 26 – I am now begining to recover of my Sea-sickness, am able to eat a little, and walk the Deck – O that my Soul may be recovered from every Sickness under which it labours fm. the Power of Sin; then I shall eat and relish spiritual food; to do the will of Gd. will then be truly my meat and Drink – my Soul shall then be cloathed with humility, shall find no more so much spiritual Pride, and Hypocrisy as at present lodges with in my deceatful Heart –

Fri 27th. This Day we have a Calm, and hence can make no Sail – Shd. we stay here, which we must do unless the wind blows again, we must perish – How often is my Soul becalmed in Sin, and wants the wind of God’s Spirit to move it blow it heaven wards? without wh. it wd. never move, but wd. perish in Iniquity – O Ld. what a Blessing it is to be quickened by the Influences of thy holy Spirit: send it down more and more upon me, and let it dwell in my heart continually and sanctify my Soul

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Satury. 28th – The weather is still fine and the wind fair; yet we have made very little way to Day – Our Convoy being chasing some Ships at a Distance the greatest part of the Day – O that my Soul kept as good a Look out for it’s Spiritual Enemies, as out Convoy does for our temporal! then she wod. not be so often taken and foiled unawares by them –

Sundy. 29th. How different is this Sabbath fm. those I have formerly known when I wd. meet with the Great Congregation – I long for those means and Priviledges again – " O when shall I come and appear before Gd.?" yet it is a great Consolation to me, to believe that I am in the way of my Duty – I requested the Captain to Day to give me permissn. to perform divine Servise to the Ship-Company He rather seemed to hesitate; said he had never seen a religious Sailor, and it wod. be of no use: he thought many of them wod. not attend – I told him, shd. be very happy to make the Trial; neither he nor I wd. tell of what utility it might be – At last he gave his Consent, not knowing how to refuse me; the next Sunday I am permitted – So I purpose to make the Attempt the next Ld’s. Day if the weather will permit – Lord help me to be faithful, and do thou give they Blessing to my weak Endeavours –

Mony. 30th. This Day we have had Company to Dinner three Captains belonging to the Fleet – O what a miserable State are Sea fairing faring men in! They seem to have not the least Idea of a future State, nor any Concern about what is to become of them hereafter – Ld I adore thy Goodness in calling me out of a world that lieth in wickedness – may I be sensible how great a Blessing thou hath conferred upon me

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and humbled in the Dust fall the Days of my Life –

October 1st. This morning found my mind comfortable when at Prayer, and impressed with the Importance of eternal things – O that my Heart may be more and more affected with, and my Life influenced by the View of Eternity and it’s vast concerns – that I may be crucified to this present world, and my Soul like a wearied Child –

Oct. 2nd. This Day have been busy in putting things in to some order in our little Cabin, which have lain for some time in a confused manner by Reason of I and Mrs. M. being sea sick – How much is my Soul like a lumbered Room? my thoughts all deranged, and scattered abroad – Ld give me an holy Resolution to set about rectifying every thing that is wrong in me, so that my Thoughts and Desires may be all regulated and employed about proper Objects

Thursy. 3d. The last Night we had an heavy Sea which hath continued so all this Day, this caused the Ship to have a good deal of motion in consequence of wch. I have been sick and very much indisposed for any thing – Have found great Back-wardness to Reading or private Prayer, or any spiritual Duty – my Soul cleaveth unto the Dust O Ld. do thou quicken it according to thy word! when shall I enjoy more Communion with Gd.? and experience the fulfilment of that Promise I will dwell in them and walk in them, I will be their Gd. and they shall be my People? Ld. let the time be now; now come and take up thy Habitation in my Heart, and there abide for ever –

Fri. 4th. This Day I have spent in writing to my Friends in England – Tho’ I am absent from them in Body, yet am present in mind – Those Delightful Seasons I have passed amongst

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in Different Parts of Yorkshire and Cambridge in sweet Christian Conversation causes me both Joy and Grief – I wish to enjoy these moments again was it consistent with the will of Gd. yet am happy that I ever did enjoy them – Ld. make my present undertaking prosperous, give me some Seals to my Ministry and then my Pleasure will be renewed –

Satu. 5th. This Day have been writing to a dear Christian Friend in Ireland whom I much esteem and love for the Grace of Gd. which is in her – Have found my mind much composed and happy while my Thoughts have been employed in this Exercise – There is nothing like Religion for making one’s time pass sweetly away – O that I may dwell more and more upon the Love of Christ: till my Soul be all transformed to Love, and ready to wing [indecipherable] it’s Flight to Glory above –

Suny. 6th. This is the Ld’s. Day O that I cod. assemble with the People of Gd. and preach the everlasting Gospel unto them! The last Sabbath the Cap-tain promised me, I shd. have Liberty to perform divine Service on board as this Day but to my great mortification he hath altered his mind; so we are to have no Duty – How unwilling are unconverted men to hear any thing of divine Truth – They are afraid of Religion, as if it was the greatest evil that cod. come nigh them –

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Mon. 7th. The last night we reached the Latitude of Madeira (which is on 32° 30’ N) in Consequence of which we parted from our Convoy, and preceeded on our Voyage in Company with other three Ships bound to the Fishing – The weather is remarkable fine, tho’ we have only light winds – may I be sensible how great a Blessing I enjoy in the Season – being so favourable for us – O Ld. thy mercy hath followed me all my Days, and great hath been thy Kindness to me – O that I had a grateful Heart that I might be thankful for all thy Favors to me –

Tues. 8th. my Soul wants quickening Grace: I do not find that Spirit of Supplication which I once enjoyed – Prayer is most delightful Work when the Soul is a live to God; but O how wearisome, at other times – may the Ld. pour out upon me a Spirit of Prayer Grace and Supplication that I may again delight in this heavenly Exercise –

Wed. 9th. Have this Day been writing to the Revd. Joseph Milner of Hull my former master and present much esteemed Friend – I feel a strong Attachment to my Friends in England, shall be glad to visit them again at some future Day shd Providence permit – However in all Places may my Soul enjoy Communion with Gd. and live in a constant State of Preparation for a future Life that we may meet again in a far more Happy Clime –

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Thury. 10th. This morning three Islands were all in Sight, of Teneriff, Ferra and Palma, the last of which our Captain intends to Touch – Shd. have come up with it this Evening had we not been prevented by a Calm – The Day is remarkably fine, and the Prospect pleasant – But what are all earthly Things if the Soul is not alive to Gd. nothing can be enjoyed; nothing properly used – Ld. do thou unite my Heart to thee, and make me happy in a Sense of thy Love –

Firy. 11th. This Day we went on Shore at one of the Canary Islands, named Palma, where we took in a little wine and Fruit – Were very kindly received by the Governor; and dine with the Council – In the Evening returned on board again – I was much struck, at seeing the Superstition of the Catholics there, who were carrying the Host about the Streets, with lighted Torches – How much are those poor Creatures to be pitied who are ignorant of the Gospel Salvation and left to follow their own Devises? Ld. I bless thee that I have heard the word of Life , and the Truth as it is in Jesus – may I be more sensible of the Blessing and thankful for it –

Satur. 12. This morning we left Palma, and proceeded on our voyage – had very light winds all the Day almost a Calm, tho’ an heavy Swell – How often is my Soul becalmed in a spiritual Sense? makes little Progress to the heavenly Country – Lod. low upon these dry Bones that

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they may live –

Suny. 15 13th. I arose this morning with a great Desire to preach to the Ship Company, yet did not know how I shod. be able to accomplish my wish – we were now four Ships in Company; our Captain had invited the Captains belonging to the other three to dine with us to Day – As soon as they came on board I mentioned my Design to one of them who immediately complied with my wish, and said he wod. speak to our Captain about it – which he did, and preparation where were strait way made for me to preach I read part of the Church Prayers and after-wards preached fm. the 3d Chap. of St. John. the 14. & 15 Verses, As Moses lifted up the Serpent in the Wilderness & & – The Sailors stood upon the main Deck – I and the four Captains upon the Quarter Deck – They all seemed very attentive, and the good effects of it appeared all the Day – may the Ld. bless his word to the Salvation of all their Souls –

Mun. 14th. This Day I and Mrs. M. in Company with the Captain went on board the Kitty to dine – I had the Happiness to see that yesterdays Sermon was not altogether in vain – I do not remember to have heard one oath sworn during our Stay on Board: such a thing as I had not seen since we came to Sea before – I had visited several Ships but not without hearing the Ld’s. name often taken in vain –

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Tues. 15. The weather still continues fine, tho’ the winds are very light – This evening the other Ships made all the Sail they cod. as ours is very heavy laden, and not able to keep up with them, they intend now to separate fm. us and leave us alone – There is nothing but separation in this Life but in the next The Followers of the Lamb will meet to part no more for ever – O that I may be amongst the Number, and share in their Glory –

Wed. 16. I have been very unwell all this Day have found not Spirit do do any thing – my Soul wants quickening – I found great Comfort in reading the 14th. Chap. of Revelation this morning – my Soul was melted within me – at the view of that glorious Period when all the redeemed shall meet around the Throne of Gd. to praise Gd. and the Lamb for ever – may I learn to bear patiently all the Ills of the present Life, and labour to share in the Glory of that wch. is to come –

Thurs. 17th. To Day I have found myself much better; but still have reason to complain of the want of Spiritual Life – O that I cod. find the Service of Gd. to be perfect Freedom and my Heart greatly enlarged to run the way of his Commandments then I know I shd. be happy amidst all the Charges of Life –

Frid. 18. This Day we crossed the Tropic of Cancer and entered the Tored Tor torred Zone – The weather continues to be remarkable fine – I see great Cause to be thankful for this Blessing

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as it makes our Time pass much more comfortably may I be sensible of every [indecipherable] both temporal and spiritual, and improve them to the Glory of Gd.

Satur. 19. A Ship hath been chasing us for some Hours – The Captain fearing it shod. prove an Enemy hath made all the Sail he can with a View to escape – O that I was so active in endeavouring to flee from my spiritual Enemies, then I shd. not be so often snared and taken –

Sun. 20th. nothing cod. be seen this morning of the Ship wch. chased us yesterday till Night came on – we expect to see no more of it now – I preached again this Day to the Ship Company fm. the 3d. Ch. of Isaiah 10. & 11. vers. say ye to the righteous it shall go well to him & - From these words I took Occasion to shew that there were three particular Seasons when it shall go well with the righteous and ill with the wicked viz, In times of public Calamity, in the Hour of Death, and in the Day of Judgment – The Salors Sailors seemed attentive; but they are a very odd Set of men to preach to, Religion appears so foreign a thing to them, as if they had nothing to do with any thing of the kind –

Mon. 21th. This morning we descovered one of the Cape de Verd Islands, called the Isle of Salt in Lati. 17 N. we came up with it about noon, and past by another about 4. o’Clock – The Captain wod. have stoped at St. Jago to have taken in some fruit, had he not been

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of falling in with a French Privateer – To Day we saw a great Number of flying Fish; had some to Breakfast, which flew on board in the Night. they eat very well, are as large as an Herring In the midst of all I cod. wish my Heart more devoted to Gd. – I trust it is my Desire to Do his will in every thing –

Tues. 22. The weather hath been very hot for a few Days passed past: it makes me very sickly and languid – This is a miserable world in which none are wholy content: none perfectly happy – Either the Elements afflict them with too great heat, or Cold, and or one thing or another renders all uneasy –

Ld. hasten that glorious period when the Sun shall smite the righteous no more by Day –

Wed. 23d. I have been much cast down to Day and very low Spirited by beholding the wickedness committed on board – we have not so much as one who makes the Enquiry "where is Gd. my Maker? but all are blaspheming that who holy Name by wch. we are called fm. morning to Night – my Soul is greatly pained within me neither know I what to do – Ld. give me Christian Patience to bear with them as I ought to do, and help me also to be faithful – I cannot but be thankful that the Ld. hath made me to Differ: my Soul is humbled within

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[Top and right-hand edge of this page poorly preserved; some words indecipherable or difficult to make out, particularly in top right-hand corner.]

me at the thought of his Goodness to me in [indecipherable] Respect - O Ld [indecipherable] will praise thee for that thou [indecipherable] done –

Th. 24th. Have been unwell all Day pain in my Head, and other Parts of my Body – The Ld. is gracious to me still: in bestowing upon me many Mercies – Every Pain teaches me I am mortal and must return to the Dust fm. [indecipherable] I was taken – "Ld. teach me to number my Days so that I may apply my Heart unto wisdom" –

Friday 25th. The last Night we had a very heavy Squall attended with Thunder and Lightening which continued for some time, and also heavy Rain – I have been very ill this Day: in the morning took an Emetic, which operated very well [L 10°N. noted in margin] The Day weather is exceeding hot which caused me to perspire very much during the time of while the Emetic wrought of; I hope thro’ the Blessing of Gd. it will prove serviceable to me –

Satu 26th Have been reading Johnathan Edwards on Redemption; and also his Life – may I possess the same Spirit of Humility wch. that holy man of Gd. did –

Sun. 27th. I preached to Day on board fm. the 11 Chr. of Eccles. V. 9. Rejoice O. young man in thy Youth &. found my own happy The word seemed to have some Effect tho’ not likely to be lasting – O Ld. do thou seal it with thy Spirit upon the Heart and Conscience of those who hear it –

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[Date of first entry obscured: Monday 28]

To Day we have had a Calm which causes the Heat to be almost intolerable being only about 6 Degrees N. from the Line – The Sailors catched a Shark this Afternoon which they soon cut to pieces, and got it ready for Eating – They seemed to enjoy a fresh Dish –

29. The Calm still continues with Rain we have only made 16 miles South since yesterdays Observation – This is a very unpleasant Climate to be becalmed in as the Heat is so great – I feel myself sickly and feeble not being able to Sleep much in the Nights by Reason of the Heat –

30th. Wed. We have only been able to make 12 miles South since yesterdays Observation the wind is right on Head – How often is my Soul kept back fm. proceeding in its heavenly Voyage, by the contrary winds of Temptation?

Thur. 31st. The wind hath been more favourable to Day which gives me hopes we shall be able in a few Days to cross the Line being now in Latitude 5° N. – I feel it very uncomfortable to have the weather so hot, and so little Air – Have been poorly all Day, and very Sick –

Novr. 1th. nothing of Consequence hath occurred to Day – I feel my Soul desirous to be more devoted to Gd. and his Service O Ld. do thou enlarge my Heart to [indecipherable]

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[Top of page poorly preserved; first line difficult to make out]

[indecipherable] the way of thy Commandments [indecipherable].

Satur] 2d. Have had some words with the Captain to Day, respecting his Conduct towards the Girl – He was exceeding angary angry , and declared he wod. not bear to be spoke to – How unreasonable are ungodly men? I hope I was enables to behave in a Christian manner to him while I reproved his wicked-ness – Ld. give me the wisdom of a Serpent, and the Innocence of a Dove –

Sundy. 3d. This hath been a good Day; have found my mind comfortable in Prayer; and also preached with Liberty and Freedom, from the first Chap. of Romans, V. 16. "I am not ashamed of the Gospel of Christ" & - my Soul was very happy feeling in some measure the Comfort of the Gospel, and cod. join with the Apostle, and say I am not ashamed of the Gospel of Christ, knowing it to be the Power of Gd. unto Salvation –

Mon. 4th. Have been much tried to Day with the wicked Conduct of those around me – The Capn. and I have also talked over again our late Disturbance, and have come to more amicable Terms – I hope I was enabled to clear my own Conscience in bearing Testimony agains his Vices – Ld. help me always to be faithful, that at the last may be able to say with St. Paul, I am clear from the Blood of all men –

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[Top corners of page damaged; first entry is for 5 November]

This Day we crossed the Line, and entered the Southern Hemisphere; when the usual foolish Ceremony of shaving and ducking was performed – The men were very merry during the whole ludicrous Scene, and concluded the Sport with a Glass of Grog and a Dance – I had to pay the Fine as not choosing to undergo the Operation of Shaving and Ducking –

Wed. 6th. Nothing material hath occurred to Day – I feel the want of a spiritual and heavenly mind – Ld. increase in me all holy Religion; and make my Soul more athirst for thee –

Thur. 7th. To Day we past the Island of Ferdinand in Lat. 3° 18’. Having now fallen in with the South East Trades [indecipherable] the weather begins to be more tolerable than it has been for several Days passt – men who know not Gd. remain unaffected with his works of Creation in every Clime: they do not, cannot see that Beauty in them wch. the Christian feels his Soul delighted with and is led in sweet Contemplation to adore their Author – Ld. may I see, and asknow-ledge thine Hand in all thy wonderful works –

Fri. 8th. I have found my mind very comfortable to Day, especially the later part

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while I was ruminating upon the many sweet and profable profitable Hours I had spent with my Friend in England – Tho’ [indecipherable] am persuaded many of them will be gone to their eternal Homes before I return, shd. that ever take place, yet I have a full Expectation of meeting them thro’ the Grace and mercy of our Gd., on Zion’s holy Hill – Ld. grant we may all have the Happiness of arriving there –

Satur 9th. I have been reading to Day the Character of St. Paul, as given by the Revd. John Newton of London in his Review of Ecclesiastical History – may I labour to imitate that holy man of Gd. and be always determined to [indecipherable] know nothing but Christ and him crucified – so that when I come to finish my Course and the ministry wch. I have received, I may die in the triumph of Faith as he did

Suny. 10th. Preached to Day on board fm. 7th. Ch. of St. Matthew, Vs. 13. [indecipherable] enter in at the strait Gate & - The Sailors in general seemed very little affected – They appear to be the most ignorant stupid Set of men in the world – nothing is impossible with Gd. or one might conclude that a Person might preach to all Eternity to such men with out doing them the least Good –

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But thou canst work of Ld. and none can hinder – O that thou wodst. make thy Power known here amongst this Company! and let them know that there is a Gd. in Israel –

Mon. 11th. The weather is very hot yet, but the wind tolerable fair so that we hope in Time to get a little out of it – To Day we were in Latitude 9° South – have had a great Number of Porpoises about the Ship but the Sailors cod. not catch any –

Tues. 12. was comfortable this morning in reading the the 1. Chap. of Thesal. where the Apostle is speaking of the second Coming of our Ld. when he shall put a final end to all the Suffering; not thought is so pleasing; no Consideration to animating to the believing Soul as the Expectation of being one Day with Christ and of seeing him as he is – Ld. may this glorious Hope always raise my Thoughts above, and enable me to live above the world –

Wed. 13th. my mind hath been greatly hurt to Day: the Captain and I have had some very high words about his Conduct with the Ser our Servant: how difficult is to tell how to act with unreasonable and wicked men! and hard to treat them in a Christian Manner – Ld. Jesus help me to possess my Soul in Patience;

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and always to speak and act as becomes my high Character –

Thur 14th I found great Comfort this morning in reading the 14 Chr of St. John; in wch our L. informs his Disciples what they were to expect from an ungodly world – Trials and Crosses prepare the mind for receiving the Comfort and sweetness of the Promises – This I have the Happiness to know by Experience –

Fri. 15. To Day we say a whale: She was very near the Ship – This being the first I had ever seen; made it appear more wonderful to me – How great & marvellous are the works of G. in Creation.- How wonderful, and infinite in Power must he be who spake, and every Creature was made from the largest to the most minute – How happy are those who are graciously protected by this Almighty Power! May I at all times put my Trust in the L. for with him is eversasting Strength –

Sat. 16 I feel a want of a meek and quiet Spirit in order to bear Crosses more patiently – O Jesus may I learn of thee, to be meek and lowly in Heart; and then I shall find Rest in every State –

Suny !7. To day I preached fm. The 8th Chr of Romans & 2 last verses I am persuaded that neither Death nor Life && - - I found it to be a solemn Time my own mind was much impressed with the Truth advanced also desirous that others might be so too – Ah! how cheering is it to the pious Soul, to believe that it shall finally persevere amidst all Difficulties; and safely arrive in the

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Kingdom of Gd. at the last! May I be animated by this holy Persuasion; and supported under the Pros=pect of Immortality under every Trial – L. increase my Truth: and inflame my Love more and more–

Mony 18th The Capn continues to be very ill-natured he seems as if he cd. Not bear either Mrs. M. or me. What an irreconcilable Hatred there is in the Heart of the Natural man to Religion and its professors. There can be no Fellowship, no Communion at all

Tuesy 19. The wind hath been strong and right against us all Day: the Sea hath also run very high: and been very rough I and Mrs. M have both been very sick and continue so – Had scarce power to get to bed – Tho’ there is not much danger to be appre=hended from Sea-Sickness; yet it shews what an improper Season Sickness is for a Person to repent of his past sins and turn to G. in: or rather how dangerous to defer Repentance till that Time – may I be found ready when the Son of man cometh - - - -

Wedy The weather is become fine again; in Consequence of wch Mrs. M. and I are much better- we Observed in 22° South to Day: from wch. We have some hope of seeing Rio. Janeiro to Morrow It will be an acceptable Refreshment to see the Shore again, having only spent part of a Day on land for the nine weeks past – How welcome must it be for the weary Pig Pilgrim to arrive safe in the Heaven of everlasting Rest: where Storms and Tempests are over to all eternity - - - -

Thurs. 21th this morning we discovered Cape Fris which is about 18 Leagues distant fm. Rio-Janiero but did not come up with it before afternoon as the wind was very light

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It was very pleasing to be so near going on Shore after having been nine weeks at Sea. How welcome will the Haven of eternal Rest be to every believing Soul L. grant that I may have the Happiness at last to arrive in the Port of everlasting glory: where storms and winds are no more –

Fri.22. we lay by part of the last Night lest the Ship shd. run a Shore and in the morning found ourselves near the moth of the Harbour of Rio-Janeiro and in a short Time were safely anchored I was much struck wth the Beauty of the Harbour; it is almost surrounded with Hills – Before we entered the Harbour we saw several fishing boats with Negros in them – These were the first Slaves I had ever seen – my bowels yearned over them: I cd not but pity these poor afflicted people who have no redress for their misery – The L. send them deliverance –

Satury 23. To Day we have been visited by the Viceroy’s boat and some Officers wch. Is the usual Custom here: and in the afternoon I went on Shore: was much affected at seeing the poor Negros so greatly afflicted – Oh how great is the misery of man upon him! Well might St. Paul say the whole Creation groaneth and traiveleth together in Pain until now –

Sun.24. This hath been an uncomfortable Sabbath had no Opportunity for preaching or divine meditation – all was bustle and stur on board: had several Portuguese to dine – In the afternoon I and Mrs. M. went on shore – here we beheld them them masquerading about the Streets like any other Day we also saw a number of poor Negros, making themselves as happy as they cd. by Dancing Drumming and playing in their manner - I cd. not but feet pity and a Degree of Pleasure at beholding these Poor Creatures Oh that G wd hasten that glorious period when the Heathen shall become his Inheritance

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Mon. Nov 25h From this time tilldecem Tuesday Decemr.3. when we sailed fm. Rio-Janeiro my Time past very uncomfortably – every Thing was in such Confusion on Board: heard nothing scarcely but Oaths and Curses all the Day long: I also had little spirit for Prayer and religious exercises my mind being so distracted wt one thing and another – I was glad when we were ready to leave this Place – Oh how happy are they can enjoy a Place of retirement where they can they can worship Gd. In peace and quiet

Tues. Decr.3 we sailed out of the Harbour of Rio-Jan this morning with a fair wind – Had not been long at Sea before it began to blow very fresh and so continued all the day- The Sea run very high – I and Mrs. M. were both soon
very sick and able to stur out of our little Cabin – our Situation was very uncomfortable as we had none to do anything for us: and the Captain continues to be very ill-natured However we were enabled to get the Day over much better than cd be expected assisting each other as well as we cd. – The Ld. be praised that out Happiness does not depend upon man - -

Wed. 4. The Sea hath been very rough all the last Night and continued so all this day attended with heavy rain – I hardly ever was so sick and ill in my life before – The sea poured into our little Cabin very much in the Night: all things were very wet about us and exceeding uncomfortable – The Captain took this opportunity to tell us that we shd. Have two months of worse weather than this before we reached New South Wales, tho’ the Sea washed over the Deck more than two yeards yards high. The sailors were not able sometimes to stand upon deck-

[Page 27]

But what the Capn. Said did not in the least affect either me or Mrs. M. and therefore gave him no Answer – Tho’ he said it was a Consolation to him, that we shd. have so much worse weather: yet I was persuaded that neither winds nor stormes were in his power and that that G. who commands the Raging of the Sea wd. Do all things well for us and hence we are comforted in our Affliction –

Thur 5th Last Night the wind and storm abated and this morning found mysef myself recovered a little fm. Sea Sickness – I cd. Not but be thankful that the L. has stilled the boisterous waves and given us a little quiet. This morning we [indecipherable] able to st sit at Table to Breakfast: whereas for the last two days the Capn and Rest in the cabin were obliged to eat their meat of the Cabin Floor the Ship having such a motion nothing wd. stand upon the Table – The righteous have nothing to fear because all their concerns are ordered by a wise and gracious father – I do not find my mind so lively and spiritual as I wd. wish: am not so drawn out after G. in Prayer and heavenly meditation as I have in Times past L. quicken my Soul and enlarge my Heart to run the ways of thy Commandments

Fri 6th The weather still continues favourable: am much recovered Fm. My late sickness – what I now and always want is Spirituality and heavenly devotion – To live for G. and Eternity under a daily Sense of his Presence - Ld. give me more a [indecipherable] and praying heart: and help me to love thee wt all my strength -

[Page 28]

Satur.7th have but been sick and poorly to Day in body and low in mind – I want more Com=munion with Gd. more real life in Religion. Found a desire in the evening to leave all my cares and concerns with Gd. and like Abraham to go up the hill on the approaching Sabbath and worship. Ld. Help me to do this at all times

Suny. 8th This has not been like the Ld’s Day on many Accounts – The men have been at work a great part of the day tho’ there was no necessity for this – was much distressed to see the Sabbath spent in this way: and longed to be in a place where I cd. Devote it to the Ld. – Found great difficulty in asking the the Capn. to let me preach to the people: he and I being on such bad terms and he also hav knowing him also to have such an Aversion to Religion – However I at last overcame this Difficulty and requested his permisn. wch. he granted – I preached from 2 of Corins. 5 Ch.V.10 "we must all appear before the judgment Seat of Christ" & was some what solemn; yet had not much liberty – The word seemed to have little effect – nothing short of the almighty’s power can awaken a sinner to a due sense of his danger - O that Gd. Wd. quicken some dead souls in this ship for his Name’s sake

Mon 9th The weather is very dark and rainy, with fresh gales; yet the wind is tolerable fare for us I am much better of my Sea Sickness than I was: but my Souls is still sick by reason of sin – O thou great Physician of Souls, do thou cure me of those Diseases wh. Sin has brought upon me

[Page 29]

Tues 10th have been reading the life of David Brainerd to Day – O that Gd. Wd. give me the same spirit of perseverance in my present mission wch. This holy man has eminently possessed! I am astonished at Mr Bran’s Patience and Self Denial under all his Difficulties and distressing Circumstances - How greatly did the love of Christ animate his Soul; and carry him through his arduous undertakings and at last the Ld crowned all his labours wt. abundant success – may I like him see the travil Travail of the Redeemer’s soul and be satisfied with it –

Wedn. 11th feel still a want of more heavenly minded=ness; more of that mind wch, was in Xt. May I learn of the lamb of G. to be meek and lowly in Heart; there is no comfort, no Rest but in Humility; and drinking into
the spirit of the Ld. – All happiness consists in conformity to him in all things – Thur 12th Have been reading the success Mr Brainerd met with among the Indians; how the Ld. owned and helped his labours to the Conversion of the Heathens. Nothing is too hard for the Ld. – this gives me encouragement under my present difficult undertaking. The same power can also effect a
change upon the hardened ungodly sinners to whom I am about to carry
the word of eternal life unless thy presence go with me; send me not up fm. hence – I know my tongue is only Clay; and my words will be only wind; and can produce no effect without the Holy Ghost be sent down fm. Heaven to apply the word with power to the conscience No man goes a warfare at his own Charges. therefore my soul shall not be discouraged -

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Fri 13th. Yesterday we had got as fair far to the South nearly as our Captain intended to go for the present and shod have been obliged to have changed our Course if the wind hand had not changed in the Night as it blew fm that Point where we wanted to go - I cod not but be struck to find in the morning that the wind was come fair for us - My Soul was thankful to that Gd in whose Hands the winds are held, that he send us favourable Seasons – may none of his mercies pass unnoticed by me but may I acknowledge him in all my ways –

Satur. 14. Have been more comfortable in my Soul to Day, than for some time past before – in the morning read the first Chapr of Jerimiah, where the Ld informis him of his sacred Office, and also promises to qualify him for it – Found an earnest Desire that Gd wod bestow upon me the same blessings and qualifications upon me , as he did upon that holy and mournful Prophet, in order that I might as faithfully discharge my important Office, as he did –

Sund. 15th Preached to Day fm the 2d Chap. Of Hebrews V. 3d. "How shall we escape if we neglect so great Salvation" The Capn. did not attend – I find great Difficulty to preach to my present Congregation; they seem in general to be so unwilling to hear, and is so greatly oppressed while I am performing the Divine Service – O that Gd. Wd. Make them sensible of the value of their Souls

[Page 31]

I hardly was ever in such an Hell as this - The Sabbath wh. formerly were so precious to me, are now the most unpleasant Days I see; as they bring more h sensibly to my Remembrance the privileges I once enjoyed How wreched I shod I be if all all my Days were to be spent here! but blessed be Gd. I live in Hopes of seeing better Times than the present, -

Mon. 16. have been composing Part of a Sermon to Day; have also been more comfortable than usual – I want more Spirituality in Prayer, and to draw nearer unto Gd. In that Divine Exercise – my Soul is grieved at the wicked: I cannot but mourn inwardly and complain feeling at the same time Indignation and Pity – O that Gd. wod. Cause his Spirit to be sent into this Ship to awaken those who are dead in Tresspesses and Sins, for surely his Fear in no Sense whatever is in this place -------

Tues. 17th To Day we saw a Whale: She was very near the Ship – How wonderful is Gd. in all his works? What room for Contemplation. In the midst of the Seas do these wonders afford I cannot but remark how Secure the Saints are since they have such Almighty Power to protect them in Danger as created the Sea and all that therein is wt a word – may my Faith grow stronger in Gd. while I view his works of Creation; and may I learn to fear him more and more –

Wedn. 18 Yesterday we had one whale; and to Day had three about the Ship: they seem to abound in these seas -

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we are now in 37 ° South L & 2 P West Lon of London

Thur. 19 Have had a Calm to Day attended with a great well wh. made the Ship roll a good Deal – How often is my Soul becalmed in Sin; at the same time tossed about by the Temptations of Satan; without the wind of the Spirit to steady my Soul – O Ld do thou keep me upon this Sea of Trouble & enable me at all Times to have my eyes up unto thee; that so I may not sink in Deep Waters and the Floods may not swallow me up –

Fri. 20th The weather hath been remarkable fine to Day; tho scarcely any winds – Have been pretty well in mind; desirous that eternal things may influence my life and Conduct proportioned to their importance – Have been employed part of the Day in composing a Sermon; and the other Part in Reading the Life of Dr. Owen that most eminent and pious Divine; whose writings will render his memory precious to all real Christians who read them – may my Life be as usefully and religiously spent as his; that my last End may be as triumphant and Glorious as his was –
"O Brother says he to a Friend who paid him a Visit the Day on wh. he died the long looked for Day is come at last in wh. I shall see that Glory in another manner, than I have ever done yet: or was capable of doing in this world –

Satu. 21. Have been much as usual to Day: found some Liberty in Prayer in the morning – No Peace not ever in the things of this Life for a Christian but in the Things of Gd. O that I may have ever more Communion with him –

[Page 33]

Sund. 22d. Have had bad weather all the Day with contin=ual rain; so that it was not possible for me to perform Divine Service – my my Mind hath been very uneasy – To spend my Sabbaths here is like an Hell to my Soul – I cannot but mourn the loss of those Privileges wh. I once enjoyed when I cd. go up to ye House of Gd. wt yl Multude multitude of ym who kept holy Day and worship toward his holy Temple – Now that I am constrained to hear nothing but the blasphemous language of the ungodly – I am not surprised at Lot being c vexed wt the Conversation of the inhabitants of Sodom – How happy shall I be once more to meet yl people of Gd and join with them in celebrating his Praises: Tho ye prospect is dark of meeting with many at the place where I am now going to yet Gd can of Stones raise up Children to Abraham – may he do this in New Holland –

Mond 23d. The winds have still been contrary all this Day: with every thick and rainy weather – There is no Sailing much with contrary wind: neither is there any Going to Heaven wt Tempers and Dispositions in our Hearts contrary to that mind wh. was in Jesus Xt - Men must be meek and lowly in Heart, before they can follow ye Lamb in the Regeneration here below Gd. Subdue every contrary Disposition in my heart; and give me an heavenly Temper and Frame of mind in Order that I may live entirely to The thee –

Tues. 24. The weather is still very unfavourable for us the wind being right on Head –

[Page 34]

I desire to be resigned , because I know that the Day and Hour are both fixed by an alwise Gd. for our Arrival at New South Wales – we shall come there in the very best Time if it be his good pleasure to bring us there in safety

Wedn. 25. To Day being Christmas Day shod have been happy to have commemorated the borth birth of our Ld. With my Dear Christian – Friends in England but have to lament that I am many Thousands of Miles fm. Them; being according to our Ships Account Reckoning in 39° South Lat. & 12 ° west Long. Of Greenwich – I hope I am where Gd wod have me be, and therefore will be content in my situation – As I & Mrs. M. cod. not meet at the Lds. Table this Day, I and administered the Lds. Supper in our little Cabin: having no Communicants but my Dear Wife and myself we found it a comfortable Season; and trust the Ld. Was with us – He is not confined to any one Place or People, but is Gd. of the Seas as well as the dry Land. In his name wod. I trust, in his Salvation wod. I rejoice, [indecipherable] in his Precepts walk – may my Soul always Delight in him: may he dwell in me; and I in him and may I experience the sweetness of his Love continually to my Soul –

Thur. 26. Have had a Calm to Day: in Consequence of wh. we have not made much way toward our Desired Port. O! how often is this the case in a Spiritual Sense with my Soul! Sin grieves thy Holy Spirit and then how my Soul suffers for want of the Divine Influences may I study to cherish his motions in my Heart

[Page 35]

[right hand margin of page damaged and indecipherable for nineteen lines]

and to follow his Direction at all Times –

Frid. 27. How needful a grace is Patience for a Christ[indecipherable]
All his journey thro this till arrives at the Heavenly[indecipherable]
Canaan? I feel a great want of this daily – it gre[indecipherable]
me exceedingly to see the wickedness of th [indecipherable]
around me and sometimes do not know [indecipherable]
manner of a Spirit I am of – Found some [indecipherable]
in praying for absent Friends this morn [indecipherable]
and also for the Spread of the blessed Gospel [indecipherable]
the whole world – O that I might always enj[indecipherable]
Spirit of Prayer: and have ye same mind [indecipherable]
wh. was in Cht. be meek and solowly in [indecipherable]
as he was; then I know I shall find and [indecipherable]
an abiding Rest in my Soul –

Satu. 28th. Have had a remarkable fine Day [indecipherable]
A fair wind – I never found myself more comf[indecipherable]
Since I came to Sea than I have been to Day - [indecipherable]
Ocean appeared so exceedingly beautiful, an[indecipherable]
Afforded so much matter for Contemplation [indecipherable]
That my mind was pleasingly affected wt.[indecipherable]
Of the Greatness & Majesty of its Author – O Ld. How wonderful are thy works in wisdom hast thou made them all – Part of the Day I spent in Reading Dr Owen upon the Hebrews: this yields me both Pleasure and instruction – The Dr. shews a great Depth of Wisom and Divine Knowledge in this work, as well as human Learning – may I make it my constant Study to emprove myself in all useful Knowledge, that I may be a workman that need not be ashamed but able to set forth the Truths of the Gospel with Clearness and Perpiscuity –

[Page 36]

[left hand margin of page damaged and indecipherable for sixteen lines]

Sund. 29. This is the Lds. Day wh. I now find by bitter Experience to be one of the dulliest Days I have in the whole week – my Soul hungers for the Bread
[indecipherable] Life. And longs to assemble with the people of
[indecipherable] the great Congregation – I find great Difficulty
[indecipherable] reach on Board, all seem so unwilling to attend
[indecipherable] so few will attend at all – I preached to Day
[indecipherable] 2 Ch. of St Luke v.19 "Fear not for behold I bring
[indecipherable] good tidings" &c &c – but found no liberty,
[indecipherable] Comfort in the work – It seemed an heavy
[indecipherable] to speak at all – Before I began I asked
[indecipherable] Caps. Permission; who did not absolutely object,
[indecipherable]t told me the men who were in the Steerage
[indecipherable] wd.not come up to hear me : wh. was as much
[indecipherable]s to say, I might as well not attempt, it wod. Be
[indecipherable]no use. If they wod. not come I asked if I
[indecipherable] might preach to those who were upon Deck,
[indecipherable] wh. He complied – I knew well the Rest wod.
[indecipherable] have attended in a moment had he only spoke one word about it: but this he did not nor seemed to care at all about it. All these things greatly discourage me in my work, tho’ perhaps they might not another. I may be too bold cold and indifferent about their Souls that makes these things so hard

Mony. 30. Was greatly alarmed the last night when in bed – About half after 10.0 o’clock Mrs Mann. awaked awakening me out of Sleep & told me the Steward had been to call the Captain in a great Hurry: She was afraid we were in very imminent Danger – As soon as I was right awake I heard the Captain swearing and cursing upon Deck

[Page 37]

like a mad man or [indecipherable] some Demon the wind blowing very hard, and the Sea roaring exceedingly and washing over both Decks, at the same time running into our little Cabin – At first I cod. not tell what to make of all the Confusion of all the Conf there seemed to be on board, but I was afraid our Situation was very bad – Having heard ye. Cpn. repeatedly say that the Ship was so deep she wod. not be able to live in a Storm, but the Sea wod. quickly knock her to pieces – I felt very much for Mrs M. She being so much afraid we were going to be lost and besides being wt. Child I was alarmed lest it shd. Bring on Labor: on this Account was constraned to suppress my own Fears as much as possible and to do my endeavour to remove hers – I lifted up my Heart to Gd. in Prayer for his protection and summed up all the Faith and Resolution I was Master of but yet cod. not get the better of my Fears and what tended to increase them was the Capn. swearing so dreadfully - However I at last got out of bed, went upon Deck to see what now was the matter – when I came there, saw they were all in Confusion shorting Sail, the Sea running over the Ship very high, and the wind blowing strong – After this I came down and went to bed again, without speaking to any one all being to busy to tell me anything – I now did all I cod. to make Mrs. M. easy by telling her I hoped we were in no Danger, and She soon recovered fm. Her fright – Never did I long more for returning Day than this Night – It brought to my mind St Paul when he was Ship Wrecked, and how welcome the Angel’s Message must be to him -

[Page 38]

The next morning was informed we were not in so much Danger as I apprehended tho. It was a very blowy Night, and a very heavy Sea – I am persuaded if Gd. hath any work for me to do at New Holland he can and will bare bring us safely there: yet I feel a great Concern about Death; fearing at least sometimes lest I shod. Not be found ready – Ld. prepare me and mine for that Change, and then let it come when and as thou pleasest –

Tues. 31. This Day ends this present Year: What wonderful Changes have taken place in my Situation and Circumstances since it began and how much Trouble have I seen? and Anxiety during the whole ? The last year at this Time was app happy in Cambridge amidist of many agreeable Friends and now am many Thousand Miles from them all and my Country too – See much cause for thankfulness to Gd. who hath helped me thro’ so many Difficulties this year, and wonderfully cleared my way to my present undertaking – This encourages me to hope in him that he will still be with me whether I go, and make my way prosperous. Am sensible the work wch. I have undertaken will be attended wt. many Difficulties of various kinds: my: Patence will be tried; and every Grace called forth into Exercise, - May I always act a faithful part, and make it my constant Study to keep my
Conscience Void of Offence towards Gd. and Man -

[Page 39]

Wednesday Jan. 1. 1794 –

This Day begins a new year: what Changes may take place before it ends is yet in the womb of Providence, and wisely hidden fm. Human Eyes – Am sensible I shall not be where I am at present being now upon the mighty Ocean in ye. South Latit. About 39 ° & East Long of Greenwich 4 ° – many Alterations must of Necessity take Place in my Situation before the returning of another year – Am happy in this Consideration that all my Affairs are in ye. Hand of Gd. who is infinitely wise and since a Sparrow does not fall to the Ground without his Notice, I may safely depend upon him for all I want at present or in future may want – He hath led me ever since I was brought into this world in a way that I knew not, and hath done great things for me, so that I in a perticular Manner ought to depend upon him and never distrust his Providence – I wish this day to renew my Covenant with him and to give myself up to his Service more than ever I have done here to fore - may my little Love be increased, my weak Faith strengthened and Hope confirmed – O Ld. without thee I can do nothing; all my Hopes will wither and die without a constant Supply of Grace from thee – but thou hast commanded me to ask that I may receive and hast graciously promised to give Grace to help in Time of need –

Thurs. 2nd. We have had a fair wind for two or ther three Days; and also moderate weather – The G Ld. is gracious to us in this respect also – we have great reason to bless his Name for his providential Favours: many of wh. we have enjoyed since we

[Page 40]

left our native Land Tho’ it requires the same power to preserve Life on Land as well as water: yet to see oneself sorounded with the raging Seas, and every rising wave threatening to bury one in the Deep strikes the mind more forcably forcibly wt. a Sense of ye. Power wh. seats sets bounds to these waves wh. they cannot pass – may I learn to tremble at that Power and act always under an Impression of it’s Greatness –

Jan 2g Frid. 3d. Have met with a Trial to Day; having lost a Quantity of Porter. tho’ these Things of this Nature are but light yet they unhinge the mind a good Deal and unfit one for Duty – I am sorounded with a Set of the wickedest Persons that I ever lived amongest Thieves and Adulterers – may Gd. keep me from Evil that I may not be tainted with the sins of those amongst whom I live –

Satur. 4. Found my mind unsettled the greatest part of the Day on Account of what happened yesterday – The Captain takes part at least very much countenances the [indecipherable] Convict Girl notwithstanding her Conduct is so exceeding bad – To Day have found her guilty of stealing a Gold Ring belonging to Mrs. Marsden wh. she [indecipherable] delivered up to me and also she is chargeable with stealing my Porter – It grieves me much to see the Capn. behave so to her after he knows she is guilty of these crimes – was humbled before Gd. in Prayer for his distinguishing Grace to me

[Page 41]

Am sensible if it was not for the restraining and converting Grace of Gd. I shd. be as wicked as any in the Ship – O my Soul lay low in the Dust before him who hath thought upon thee in thy low Estate and be thankful all thy Days –

Sundy. 5. Preached to Day fm. The 28 Ch. Of Jeremiah 16 ver. "This year thou shalt die". Found some Liberty in speaking and there appeared some Attention amongst the Sailors – O that Gd. wod. give a blessing to the word; and make it effectual to the Conversion of those who sail with us! It is dreadful to see how they all are lost to Gd. and Religion -----

Mond. 6. This afternoon we passed the Cape of Good Hope, according to the Account of the Reckon reckoning of the Ship, but are two Degrees to the South of it – and therefore shall not see it – I now begin to extend my Thoughts towards Port Jackson as this is the last place we cod. conveniently touch at –

Tues. 7th. The weather is as fine as possible we have had a Calm the whole Day; wh. is what neither I nor the Capn. expected – As soon as we had turned round the Cape I looked for very rough Seas, and heavy Gales whereas I do not remember ever to have seas seen the Sea so [indecipherable] smooth as it hath been all this Day. It appeared as even as a Carpet – I cod. not but adore that Power wh. created every thing around me – The Sea had a most beautiful Appearance: the sky clean and fine, the Air neither too hot nor too cold

[Page 42]

and all the works of Creation afforded infinite Matter for Contemplation. I mean those wh. cod. be seen – may every Thing lead me to love and adore the Gg. Of Creation and Grace – O how cold is my Heart to his Praise; what backward=ness do I feel to every thing spiritual and Divine - [indecipherable] When shall my Heart burn it love to the Saviour; and my Soul be entirely Devoted to his Service: then I shall be happy. Then shall I be truly blessed indeed -----

Wed. 8th. The Calm continued all Night and the greatest Part of this Day; is now a breese is now springing up a little that we have some Hopes of proceeding again on our Voyage – I am often delayed for want of spiritual Breeses fm. Making a swift Passage to the heavenly Port – My sin grieves the blessed Spirit of Gd. and causes him to withdraw his Influences and then I can do nothing but stand still or else go backward – The Power of Sin in my Nature is too strong to be overcome by mere human Strength; that I want a constant Supply of Grace and Strength fm. Above to enable me to live and act like a Christian – may I seek the Strength I want more diligently and never rest without receiving it from him who hath said "ask and ye shall have seek and ye shall find [indecipherable] ---

Thur. 9th. The wind hath been very light all this Day so that we have not made much way -

[Page 43]

my Expectation hath been greatly disappointed with Respect to these Seas: had not the least Idea of finding them so smooth – may I learn to be thankful to that Gd. who rules the Raging of the Seas, and acknowledge him in all my ways –

Frid. 10. Have had stronge winds all Day; the greatest Part double-reef Top-sails – The Sea run very high and washed very much over the Ship – About 8 o’Clock in the Evening had a very heavy Squall accompanied with a good deal of Lightening – I had not seen such an one since we left England, and therefore is appeared more dreadful to me; tho’ I was not much alarmed with a Sense of Danger – Mrs. M. had been very unwell all Day, and had not been longe out of Bed before the Squall came on – She was a good deal terrified at the Lightening; wh. made me the more uneasy – I feel a want of firm Faith in Gd. in order to my being always comfortable at Sea seeing we are exposed to so many Dangers – There is but a Step between us and Death literally – may I be always ready whenever the Summons comes –

Satu. 11. Have had a very fine Day; the wind fair wh. makes it comfortable – yet shall be happy when we are safely landed on Shore at our destined Port – Having little Opportunity to study on Board every thing is generally in such confusion oftens renders my mind very uneasy yet Sometimes I find my mind comfortable when at Prayer, and my Soul drawn out after Gd for a Blessing

Sun. 12. Have had a very heavy Sea on all the Day, so that I have not been able to preach my Sabbaths are now generally the most uncomfortable Days I see –

[Page 44]

I feel more sensibly than ever the want of an Opportunity of meeting with the great Congregation – Have been a little comfortable to Day especially in the Evening – Mrs. M hath been very poorly all Day, cod. scarce bear out of Bed: this also makes me more low Spirited than I otherwise shd. be, tho’ on this Account I have not much cause to complain – my Spirits are generally good – Found some sweetness in reading the Scriptures; they are indeed Spirit and Life to the Soul – O that Gd. wod. give me more Spiritual Discernment, that I may comprehend more clearly the great Mystery of Godliness; and feel my Soul more affected with the Truths of the Gospel –

Mon. 13. The weather hath been very fine to Day; have had a very fine wind, and are now going between 8 & 9 Knots an Hour – O that my Soul cod. thus break thro’ the waves of Sin and Temptation; and sail as swift to the heavenly Port – It is most pleasant to Se see how the Ship rides over the Tops of the waves regardless of all their Strength and Rage: thus shd. my Soul do if the Love of Xt. burned as it ought in my Heart – I shd. fear nothing but be able to come off in every Contest with Victory –

[Page 45]

Tues. 14 Have had a remarkable fine Day, and fair winds. these together make the Time pass on comfortably as it give one some Hope of arriving at length at our destined Port – Found my mind comfortable this morning when at Prayer; had Liberty in pouring out my Soul before Gd – felt a Desire yt Gd. wod. bless my present undertaking to the Conversion of the poor Convicts, who in a literal Sense are tied and bound wt the Chains of their Sins – may the gracious Ld. send them Deliverance and Help fm. his Sanctury: and make them momin moniments of his saving Grace – Shall desire no greater Happiness than to have my Labours blessed to the Souls of my People: this will abundantly recompence all my Dangers and Toils –

Wedy. 15. Have had a very uncomfortable Day, Mrs. M being very unwell the last Night and still continues has had a deal of Fever – Having none to consult with when She is poorly makes me more uneasy than I shd. be – Shd. I loose her at Sea it would be a very heavy Trial to me; but G. is able to preserve her fm. Death tho’ her Situation be very precarious, and to bring us both in Safety to our desired Port – Have some Comfort in Religion; being fully and always persuaded that Nothing is worth having or knowing but Jesus Christ and him crucified – may I enjoy more communion with Gd. every Day – I longe to have a place of Retirement where I may fear quietly wait upon Gd. on Board all is Hurry and Confusion; and no place free from Noise –

[Page 46]

Thur. 16. Had a very unpleasant Night: the Ship tumbled about very much; and the Sea ran very high – Mrs. M. was also poorly, but is much better to Day; tho’ very weak and poorly yet – I hope in a Day or two she will find herself much recovered – There is a great Happiness in gov having a Companion in such a Situation as mine; and also a great deal of Care attending it – This Life is made up almost of Cares and Fears – very little real Quiet is to be enjoyed here below – How sweet will the heavingly Rest be to all weary Pilgrims? my Passage is likely to be rough and unpleasant to Flesh and Blood – O that I may possess the Spirit of St. Paul: may be as little affected with the things of this Life, as he was; and be determined to know and preach nothing but Xt. Jesus ye Ld –

Fri. 17. Have had a Calm the last Night and to Day – For a week past we have had very good Winds: have run more than three Degrees a Day one Day with another – This reconciles one’s mind to being at Sea, as we are shortening our Distance fast – If we arrive safe at our desired Port; I shall count it a great Deliverance – I know in one Respect we are as safe fm. Danger as if upon Land yet there is only a Step between us and Death – If the Ld. hath any work for me to do; he will bring me there in Safety: upon his kind Providence I wod. entirely rely and be easy –

Satu. 18. The wind hath been almost a Head to Day and still continues; so that now we cannot make much much way – This gives the Ship an uncomfortable motion –

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Sun. 19. Have had a contrary wind, attended with Rain – Little way is to be made at Sea when the winds are unfavourable, in like manner little Progress is to be made in the divine Life without the Influences of the blessed Spirit – Have been very uncomfortable the greatest Part of the Day – I may truly say with David, "wo is me that I sojourn in Meshech, that I dwell in ye Tents of Kedar – Psalm 120. v. 5. was afraid I shd. not have an Opportunity to preach on Account of the weather, and the unwilling-ness wch. there is in all on board to hear ye word of Gd – However towards Evening an Opportunity offered wh. I embraced, I spoke fm. the 37. Ch. of Ezek. from the Vision of dry Bones found some Liberty, and afterwards was more comfortable in my own Soul – I wish to be found faithful at last, and give up my Account to Gd. the Judge of All – with Joy, and not without Grief – wod. not willingly let an Opportunity slip of doing any Good; yet I feet all the weaknesses and Infirmities of a sinful mortal – am tempted to be ashamed of Christ and his Gospel; I do not mean I am ashamed of Professing his Name, and own him before men: yet I do not find a Readiness to set him forth before men, perhaps when I might, with that humble Boldness wh. becomes a Minister of his

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Mon. 20. Have been composing a Sermon to Day, found my my mind pretty comfortable in ye this Exercise – what real Pleasure does searching the Scriptures to spiritual mind – may the vail be taken of my Heart, so that I may be able [indecipherable] clearly to understand ye great Truths of ye Gospel, and set them forth in the plainest manner – And O that my Soul may always be impressed with these things of Gd. and influenced by them –

Tues. 21. The wind hath been contrary both Yesterday and to Day – I feel a want of Patience tho’ and my evil Heart wod. willingly murmer and complain; tho’ I have not ye least Cause to do this: the Ld. hath been very kind to [indecipherable] us in his Providence since we came upon this mighty Ocean, in permitting no Calamity to befall us – what need of special Grace to subdue and restrain the Principles of Sin in ye human Heart –

Wedy. The wind still continues against us – Mrs. M. hath been very poorly to Day: I fear her Situation will expose her to great Sufferings before we get to Land – Shd. she fall very ill, I shd. not know how to manage as we have no Doctor on Board, and I also shd. want many Necessary wch. we cod. not obtain here – However the Ld. is sufficient for every thing and able to provide – I wish to put my whole tru Trust in him, and make myself easy knowing that he is ever a present Help in Trouble, and never faileth them who hope in him –

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Thur. 23. We have once more got ye wind in our Favor, I hope we shall enjoy it some time – It is very pleasant after being longe at Sea, to be getting on our Voyage – Tho it does not become a Christian to be discontent in any Circumstance wch. Gd. calls into him into – my mind upon the whole hath been tolerable comfortable wt Respect to my present undertaking – I do not remember that I ever felt so much as a wish that had not engaged in it since my leaving England; and hope never shall repent – I foresaw the undertaking must of Necessity be attended wt many Difficulties; and have met with as few hitherto as I expected – may ye Ld. give me ye Wisdom of ye Serpent and Innocency of ye Dove; in Order that I may conduct all my Affairs with Discression –

Fri. 24. Have been writing Part of to Day; found my mind pretty easy – my greatest want is Spiritual Life – may the Lord by his Spirit quicken my Soul, and enlarge my Heart to run ye Way of his Commandments –

Satur. 25. Were very uncomfortable all the last Night, and especially towards morning – It was almost impossible to rest any – The Wind blew very fresh, and the Sea ran high wch. caused ye Ship to labour very much – When I got up, and went upon Deck, the Capn. told me it was the most unpleasant morning he had ever seen; the Sea then was washing over the Ship on both Sides amazingly.

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The wind having blown the Day before pretty fresh from Nor. East, veared round suddenly to Sou west wh. caused us to have 2 very heavy Seas – The Quarter was wet and the man main Deck sometimes quiet under water; so that the men cod. not sometimes keep upon their feet being borne up by the Strength of the Water – How wonderful is Gd. who stilleth the Raging of ye Sea, and can by a word make the Storm a Calm –

Sund. 26. Have had no Opportunity to preach to Day the Captain keeping the men busy at work – O when shall my Soul get out of this Prison; when shall I be at Liberty to preach ye everlasting Gospel of his Son, without Restraint? I feel my Soul always uncomfortable upon the Ld’s. Day not having that Liberty wch. I cod. desire of discharging my Duty – It is a comfortable Thought that this will not always be the Case – A few Sabbaths more will bring us to the End of our Voyage where I hope to enjoy freer Liberty –

Mon. 27. Have had excessive heavy Rains to Day and contrary Winds – The Weather at present is very unpleasant, being both cold and rainy – This world taken altogether Sea and Land may fitly be compared to an uncomfortable Wilderness – Woe unto them who have no other Portion excepting this world; who now are receiving their Good Things: and have their Evil to come – It is but little at most that can be enjoyed here, and that for a small Time – Ld. grant I may have my evil Things in this

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Life: let their number measure and weight be according to thy own will: only let me have a Part among them who are justified at last, and be counted worthy to dwell with thee in thy Kingdom – This [indecipherable] is as much as I desire to enjoy, and as much I know as will render my Happiness complete –

Tues. 28. Have had very light winds, not yet very fair – However we have no Power to do anything – It is our Place to stand still – It is not in the Power of Mortal Man to make the wind to blow, any more than it was for the Israelites to make a way for themselves thro’ the Red-Sea – Power belongeth to Gd. in every Respect and man must be dependent upon him whether he will or no – O that I cod. trust him more! and serve him better – was but dull and stupid to Day; cod. not neither love, nor fear Gd. as I ought – O Ld. pardon my coldness, and help me to do thy Will in everything –

Wedn. 29. Had a Calm the last Night, but the Wind hath now sprung [indecipherable] up, tho’ not quiet quite favourable, yet we get on a little – In due Time I hope to reach our desired Port – Mrs. M. was very unwell during the greater Part of the Night, but the Ld. be praised, is better this morning – Found some Spiritual Life and Liberty this Day in Prayer – what an inesti=mable Privilege it is to be permitted to call upon Gd. and make Supplication unto him – He is alway ready to hear and answer Prayer; and none comes unto him, and are sent empty away – Jesus ever lives to intercede for Transgressors and hath commanded poor Sinners to call upon him, and both promised to hear their Cry

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Thurs. 30. Have had little wind to Day – The winds are exceedingly variable here, seldom blow more than a few Hours fm. any Quarter – What need of divine Content-ment in order to pass thro’ this miserable world with any Degree of Comfort – It may well be alled a wreched – The Righteous have a better Country to expect and also to enjoy when their Ld. shall call them Home –

Friday. 31. We expect now to be nearly in ye Longitude of St. Pauls. & Amsterdam – The former lying in 37°. 31’. South Lat. & 77°. 56’ East Longi. The other in 38°. 15’. Lat. 78°. Long – We had a School of Whales about the Ship to Day from wch. ye Sailors infer that we are near Land – One Whale ran close against ye Ship – How wonderful are the works of Gd. in Creation; especially those great Beasts wch. are in ye midst of the Seas – may I learn to [indecipherable] yt Power who speak ye world fm. Nothing into Existence, and fear to offend him –

Sattur Satur. Feb. 1th. This morning confirmed the Conjecture formed Yesterday by the Sailors respecting the two Islands mentioned above – About 8 o’Clock St Paul’s was about 8. Leagues distant; as soon as Breakfast was over I accompanied by the Chief Mate, and five of the Sailors took a Boat and set off for Shore wch. we reached in about three Hours and an half – I shot one Sea-Hen as were going – As soon as we came within a few yeards of the Shore we cast in our Lines to see if we cod. procure any Fish – In about an hour’s Time we had cached as many nearly as we cod. well carry off without endangering the Boat – They were the finest Fish I had ever seen, and in the greatest Aboundance – We had nothing to do but to haul

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them in – They weighed about four or five pounds each sum more, and some a little less – The Sailors alled ym Rock Cod – After we had procured as many as we thought we cod. carry: we went on Shore – I took my Fowling Piece, and Shot a number of Sea Fowls, and ye Sailors killed a few Seals about twenty, and took of their Skins – When this was done we returned to the Boat, and made of for the Shil – we had not got very far fm. Shore before we were entangled in a Bed of Kelp, and cd. not for some time disengage the Boat – She been heavy cod. not get thro’ – After some Labor we got her free but found when we arrived at ye Ship the Kelp had almost pulled her keel off fm. he Bottom – She being deep, and a Pressure of Sail upon her made her keel give way – I cod. not but see the Hand of Gd. in preserving us in so great a Danger; for had the Keel been entirely separated we might all soon have gone to ye Bottom – may I be mindful of all ye divine mercies –

Sun. 2d. How unlike the Sabbath hath this been to those I have formerly seen – The Men all busy at work, some dressing fish, others Seal-Skins that they scarcely know yt it is the Ld’s. Day – Sailors of all other men, seem to be the most ignorant and stupid wt Respect to the thing of a future State – They have no Idea of Gd. in the Least: and so habituated to that detestable Vice off Swearing; that it seems to be a second Nature to them – Preached in the Evening; from Romans 8 Chap. Ver. 1th. "There is therefore now no Condemnation to them who are in Christ" & &

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I was not able to get the Sailors together before Evening It is very uncomfortable to have to preach to such a Congregation as mine: I long much for a better: they have no Desire to be instructed, and it seems a Burden to them to attend – As soon as I have done they will begin a Swearing in their old way – There is not one who seems to have any kind of Concern about them and no Regard at all for the Affairs of the eternal World – The Girl I brought out of London will not so much as come to hear me preach at all – She seems to be as hard as Sin and Satan can make her – Hath been the Cause of a deal of Sorrow since we came out – Shall be happy to get out of the Ship; for my Soul is vexed within me, at seeing and hearing the Conversation of those of around me – A little Cot in ye Wilderness wt Bread and Water wod. be far preferable that living here: were where one might enjoy Peace and Quietness –

Mon Feb. 3. This morning we past Amsterdam have had very light winds – we do not now expect to see Land till we arrive at New South Wales – Shall have a very long Passage unless we have better winds – Mrs. M had a very bad Night for her Sake shall be glad to reach as soon as possible our destined Port – Our Times are in Gd’s. Hands, and I believe the Hour is fixed by him for our Arrival, and that Hour will be the best – I want more Faith, and Christian Patience; and spiritual Life, Ld. quicken my Soul more and more –

Tues. 4. We have remarkable fine Weather; it is quite warm, if we had only a little more Wind – The Seas are as smooth as they were near the Equator – It makes it more agreeable

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because I expected such rought weather may I I be thankful for every mercy received received –

Wedny 6th The wind is contrary to Day we can make little way – Nothing can be done but being resigned to the Divine Will – may I never mur-mer or repine, at any thing wh may happen to me in the Course of Divine Providence [indecipherable] How happy are they who can fully rely upon the Ld for Protection, and quietly wait upon him in the Time of Trial till he work out a Deliverance for them – Cod I lie low at the feet of Jesus, my soul wod then be happy indeed, and wod never repine – It is for want of knowing more of Jesus that I am ever uneasy at all –

Thurs 6th. The wind still continues right a Head. Wh rather makes the time seem long – The weather is tolerable good; tho’ it hath been cold to Day – Shall be glad to see the wind change – Have been reading some of Mr Newton Letters; they breathe the very Spirit of a pious Christian – I think it an Honor to be A acquainted with such an excellent one of the Earth as he is – O that I had more of his Christian Temper, and wisdom! I am but a mere fool in every thing: my Spiritual Knowledge, is not equal to the means I have enjoyed of improvement – How dull I am in learning the Doctrines of Christ, and his Cross – Have much Cause to be humbled before Gd on Account of my Negligences and Ignorances – May I improve my Time better in future, and live more to the Glory of Gd than what I formerly have done

Friday 7th. Have been composing a Sermon to Day: the Sea is u every smooth so that one may write without much Trouble –

Satur. 8th. We were by to Day’s Observation in Lat. 39°. And Long. 86° 6’. We have yet to run about 65° east Longitude – Shall be a long time yet unless we fall in with better winds –

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I wish not to be too anxious about getting on our voyage – not doubting but we shall arrive at our intended Port at the very best Time. All our Affairs and Concerns are in the hands of a gracious Gd. who will do all things well – Learn my Soul to be humble, and thankful for the Blessings and Comforts at present enjoyed, and Dependent upon him who feeds the young Ravens when they cry for [indecipherable deletion] future Supplys –

Sund. 9th. Have not been able to preach to Day on Account of the Rain and wind, wh. [indecipherable deletion] have continued all Day – I and Mrs M. spent the greatest Part of the Day in our own little Cabin, where I administered the Lord’s Supper – our Time passed pretty comfortably ; in Reading and singing Hymns together – I long for an Opportunity of meeting once again in the great Congregation and to worship Gd. in his holy Temple –

Mon. 10th. We have now got a fine wind again if it only continues for any Time it will do well for us – may I learn to be thankful for this mercy also – The Ship rowls so I can scarcely write –

Tuesy. 11. We have had a very heavy Sea on all the last Night and still continues; the wind [indecipherable deletion] being rather a Head causes the Ship to labour very much wh. makes it very uncomfortable – Have been rather sick Part of the Day, and Mrs. M almost the whole – She did not get out of bed till Evening & then but a little while – Shall be glad to reach our Desired Port and to get off this tempes-tuous Ocean where we may expect to enjoy a little Rest – When the Sea is rough, it very much

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indisposes me for all spiritual Exercises, and makes my Soul stupid and dead –

Wn. 12. Had [indecipherable deletion] a very uncomfortable Night ye Ship tumbled about so exceedingly ; the wind is now a little abated, and the Sea fallen, so that we have had a more easy Day – Have not much spirit to write much –

Thur. 13. Have had little or no wind to Day; the morning was exceeding fine: and the Sea exhibited a pleasing Prospect, fm what it had done for three or four Days before when running Mountains high A smooth Sea succeeding a rough one is Rest indeed to the weary – How happy must ye Christian feel when Delivered fm. Ye miseries of this mortal Life, and translated into the Kingdom of his heavenly Father – There the wicked cease fm. Troubling, and the weary are at Rest – O. Ld. do what thou wilt with me here, only grant me an inheritance amongst they Children and number me amongst thy People at the Last: and I desire no more –

Fri: 14 Have had a very fine Day, tho’ light winds – Every Day brings us nearer to our destined Country where I hope we shall enjoy more Peace and Quiet that upon this troublesome Sea – All around us are given up to the works of the Devil, and none have the least fear of Gd. before their Eyes – what a wreched lost State is man in while estranged from his maker – No Peace No Comfort can he find – Ld. I adore thy matchless Grace wh. turned my Feet fm. the Paths of Sin and Folly, and bad me seek substantial Bliss – may walk worthy of my high Calling and never suffer my Good to be evil spoken of but adorn theC Doctrine of Gd. my Saviour in all Things –

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Satur 15. Has been rough to Day; tho’ tolerable fair. We are now getting on our Passage very well and hope in due Time to reach our Desired Port – may the Ld. make me thankful for every Comfort – I often think how much we are blessed upon the Sea, in having Plenty of Food and [indecipherable deletion]
Raiment and most of the Necessaries of Life tho’ none of them are to be procured here – Bless the Ld. O! my Soul, and forget not all his Benefits! How happy are they who are brought to put their Trust in thee: they are safe in all Dangers and Storms or whatever may befall them in their Pilgrimage to the Heavenly Canaan – may I learn to love and trust thee more, and to live more to thy Glory

Sund. 16th. The wind blows pretty fresh and very cold. Tho not very fair – was afraid all the Day I shod. Not be able to preach; but embraced an Opportunity between 4 & 5 o’Clock – I got a few of the Sailors together and spoke to them from Revelation 1 Ch. v. 7th. Behold he cometh with Clouds and every Eye shall see him &c The Capn. did not attend; I found very cold standing upon Deck: tho that was nothing – The Cold and Rain I cod cheerfully endure, was that all – It hurts me most to see all in the Ship so unwilling to hear anything of R Religion, that I have not the least encouragement to speak – I have always found my Sabbath to be the most

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uncomfortable [indecipherable deletion] Days I had since my first coming to Sea – Coud. I have wished to have spent them in a different manner than I possibly cod. here – I rejoice to bear my Testimony for Gd. and yet find a Difficulty in having to request permission fm those who hate and despiseth ye people Gospel - may the Ld. make me faithful to the Charge wh I have received, and deliver me fm. all slavish Fear of Man -----

Mon. 17. Have had a very fine wind to Day. we are now shortening the Distance a Pace – It gives one Spirits to be getting on – O that I cod. make as swift a Progress towards immortal Glory! then I shd. quickly leave the world and Sin behind and my Soul wod. run and seize the Prize – Mrs. M was very well yesterday she never was better in her Life, and continues tolerable to Day – This also calls for my Thankfulness to that Gd. who hath preserved us fm. every Danger, and fm. every Foe -----

Tues. 18. Have had a very fine Day but light winds – The weather at present is remarkable good, & much better than I expected to see in these Seas – Have much to be thankful for that I enjoy good Health, and Mrs M. also – were we unwell here it woud. be very uncomfortable as our Capn. is such a bad tempered Man. May I learn to be more humble and more devoted to the Ld. for all his Blessings bestowed upon me – What an Happiness it is yt ye Ld is very good a strong Hold in the Day of Trouble, and knows them who trust in him ---

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Wedn. 19th The winds still continue light, but fair – Every Day brings us nearer our Desired Port – Have been employed in writing a Sermon to Day found some Liberty; tho’ it is very unpleasant to have to write in the midst of so much Noise and Din – How comfortable will it be to have a new retired Closet to write in and study the Scriptures; This is a Privilege I once enjoyed and hope to enjoy again –

Thurs. 20th. The wind hath sprun sprung up a little so that we are going on a little faster than we were – A few more Days God willing will bring us up with ye South Cape Were to Day in 120° Long. & about 42° Lat. ------ The wind is very cold, and chill; we have not had any Fire in the Cabin since we came on Board the ship in London River; tho’ it wod. have been very acceptable sometimes expecially in rainy rough weather when no fire cod. be kept upon Deck, wh. hath been the case sometimes – However we must submit to our present Situation as there is no Remedy, and patiently bear those Ills, we cannot cure – may I be thankful for all I enjoy, and not murmer for those I imagine I want – In a world so full of misery as this it makes me wonder that I suffer so little as I do –

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Fri. 21. Have almost been becalmed the whole Day; having run less than two Knots for sometime – How often is this the Case with me in a spiritual Sense, my Soul is frequently becalmed in the midst of Sin, like a Ship in ye midst of the Sea - m was not the blessed Spirit to breathe upon me again there I shd. remain and perish as sure as a Ship’s Company wod. was the wind to blow no more when they are once in a Calm – The Ld. is exceeding good in not leaving me to die in this State. O that I cod. praise him as I ought for all his Benefits to me both spiritual and temporal –

Satur 22 – Have had a strong fresh Breeze to Day attended wt. Rain and a rough Sea; tho’ it was very favourable . We have got on our way better than we cod. expect fm. Yesterday’s Appearance – We have some hopes now of seeing New Holland in a short Time – Every Day calls for thankfulness and Gratitude to the Gd. of E Heaven who commands the winds and Seas that they arise and fall obedient to his will – much of his Power and Greatness are to be seen in the great and wide Sea – How safe are his People who have fled to him for Refuge – None shall be able to harm them thro’ all Eternity but they shall dwell safe beneath the Shadow of his Almighty wings – O my Soul may thou make him thy Refuge also! And never leave his Side, but always abide under the Covent of his wing – no Safety, no Happiness is to be found any where else: he alone is the Fountain of Peace and Joy -

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Sun. 23d. Have had a fresh wind all Day, and a good deal of Lightening the last Night from the Nor. East – Have not preached to Day, tho the weather was tolerable fine my mind was very uneasy on that Account – Shod. Have been glad to have done it, but Capn. is such a very contrary man; and having almost as good as forbad me – He did not like to attend himself; and the men in general were disposed to follow his Example – There is not so much as a man on board who seems very willing to hear, and none to say, I wish you wod. preach to us to Day; but rather express in their Countenances wish wish you wod not – Seeing this Backwardness depressess my Spirit much, and makes me earnestly long for an Opportunity to deliver the Gospel Message freely – Coud. wish to do my Duty I and deliver my Soul from the Blood of Souls – O’ that I may be able to do this and say wt. St. Paul yt. I am free fm. the Blood of all men - happy are those Ministers who finish their Course like the great Apostle of the Gentiles – It is very trying to be in such a Situation as my present is : to have an earnest Desire to preach the Gospel and to be so bound up as not to have free Liberty – may the gracious Ld. convince all on Board of their ruined Condition by Sin and then they will gladly hear the Tidings of Salvation, and wt. Joy embrace them – O Ld. what will thou not do for thy own great Name!

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Mon. 24. Have had a very fine wind to Day, and are now going on very well. It gives one great Pleasures to think of reaching our Destined Port in a short of Time – The Ld. hath been very good to us during our Voyage: we have got so far, and not suffered much bad weather – When I behold the wicked around me, I cannot but be thankful to Gd. who called me out of Darkness in Light – my Soul does not envy the Wicked Doers: who have their Portion in this Life, and none to expect hereafter – Ld. give me what thou pleasest, and appoint me what Situation seems good to thee here only number me with thy People in thy Glory, and I ask no more –

Tues. 25th. Have had a very fine wind to Day, having made in the last 24 Hours, 4 Degrees 32 miles Long. besides part Lat. We are [indecipherable deletion] in Hopes of seeing the South Cape of New Holland in two or three Days being now in the Long. of 137° and [indecipherable] 3°. 31’ Lat – Saw a large Spermaceti Whale this Morning; and the last Night some Rock weed – Have vast Number of small birds about the Ship continually now I think some Thousands – These teach me the care of a kind Providence – Am sure that these Fouls Fowls have neither Stone House nor Barns upon this mighty Ocean and yet ye Ld. feeds them – may I learn quietly to trust the divine Providence, and never murmer or repine in whatsoever Situation I may be in – His Children can never want while the Ld is able to supply their Necessities -

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Wed. 26. Have had a very fine Day, and fair winds – It makes our time pass with more Satisfaction to be shortening our Distance and approaching nearer our Destined Port – May the Ld. bring us there in Safety –

Thur. 27. We had expected to have made Land to morrow but the wind is now very unfavour-able for us and unless it changes shall not be able to do it – we have need of Patience in such a world as this – Little Comfort can be enjoyed long – our Hopes are quickly blasted and die away – What a small Disappointment unhinges the mind – had expected in a few Hours to have seen the South Cape of New Holland; but now must wait a Change of Wind – I wod. not murmer or repine; yet feel my heart naturally inclined to do this – Our Times are all in Gds hands, and he does all things well; be still therefore O my Soul and know of yt there is a God –

Frid – 28. Have had a very uncomfortable Day : the Wind being right against us, with a very heavy Head Sea – Also very rainy and cold – The Head Sea gives the Ship such a disagreeable motion yt it makes Mrs. M. very poorly – Yet the Ld. liveth – Saw a number of Land Birds: but shall not be able to make the Land by Reason of the contrary wind – How needful a Grace is Christian Patience? May I learn not only to do, but to suffer the Will of Gd. also; and in every thing glorify him whether I be on Sea or Land –

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Satur. March 1st. It rained exceedingly the last night, and was very cold. We had also a very strong gale of wind but fair – The Ship lay by during the Night, and the Sea runing very Light caused us to have a very unpleasant Night It was wt Difficulty Mrs. M. and I cod. keep ourselves fm been roaled out of Bed – I cod. not sleep till Day Light I do not know I ever longed more than the last Night to see the returning morn – Mrs. M. was very poorly all Night – The wind blew so fresh yt it split our mainsail nearly in two. The Sea appeared all ofon a Flame; I sight we had never seen before – The Capn. had never seen the like before nor the rest of the Sailors – Some of the Balls flew on Board of Ship; and were formed of matter like a Gelly – Some Paraquets also flew on Board one of wt the Sailors caught – They are a most beautiful Sort of Birds – We have never seen no Land to Day tho’ the Latitude observed was 44°. 15’ and the Longitude by dead Reckoning 147°. The weather extremely cold – Shall be very glad to arrive at our desired Port – may ye Ld. bring us there in safety –

Sun. March. 2d. This hath been a Day much to be remembered by me and mine: I hope a grateful Sense of the Lds. mercies received this Day will never be forgotten – About two o’clock in the morning Mrs. M. began to be unwell – She was in Expectation of getting her bed every Day, but thought the the motion of the Ship might affect her; and she shd. be better in a little Time But in this She was greatly mistaken for She found

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herself to grow worse – we both rose from bed some time before Day break, and laboured to pass the Time as well as we cod. till the Light returned Mrs. M. all the while growing worse and worse – It had been my wish and Prayer that we might arrive at our desired Port before she got her bed, but now I saw it cod. not be – I therefore endeavoured to prepare my mind for the Trial as well as I cod. and the Ld. gave me Strength equal to my Day – we had no Assistance on Board of any Kind; the Capn. a very unnatural man, and the wind blowing exceeding hard, and also heavy Rain; these Circumstances taken together made our situation very unpleasant – in the midst of all I was not cast down not doubting but Gd. wod. be with us and bless us – Mrs. M. was also in much better spirits than I cod. be expected – About Day Break I informd. the bad girl we had on board yt Mrs. M. was unwell thinking she might be of some Assis-tance to us as we had Nobody else – I shall not soon forget what a rough Morning we [indecipherable deletion] it was – I cod. not possibly stand without hold of some Fixture – About half past ten in the morning Mrs. M. was brought to bed of a fine girl: She had exceeding good Time and I believe suffered as little as if she had all the Assistance in the world – The Child was no sooner born than a great wave washed

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over the Quarter Deck and forced [indecipherable deletion] its way into our little Cabin thro’ the Port Hole, Port of wh. water fell upon the Child and also wet our linen & This tended to increase our Distress as we had no Fire – Having never ha had any Fire in the great Cabin fm. our leaving England, to the present Day [indecipherable deletion] caused our Linen to be very Damp – This I aired as well as I cod. by putting it between my Shirt and Skin – Mrs. M. notwithstanding the bad weather the damp Linen, the wet Cabin, and no Assistance but such as I cod. give, yet she hath had a good Day; her Spirits have never been down her mind easy seems easy and She appears in a very fair way to do well – Having got the Child dressed, and our little Place put to Rights I kneeled down to return Gd. thanks for the great Deliverance wh. he had wrought for us, and hope this was done in Spirit and in Truth – I have another Circumstance also to mention wh. Gave me no small Degree of Pleasure and that is we this morning made ye South Cape of New Holland – As soon as I had an Appor-tunity to go upon Deck I had the Happiness once again to behold the Land – This was a very pleasing sight as we had but seen it once since the 3d of Decemr. We just came up with the Cape about Noon, and before evening got clear of some small Islands wh. lay not fm far fm.ye Cape/ I was pretty comfortable in Mind the greatest Part of ye Day, and I hope

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I shall ever retain a grateful Sense of Mercies [indecipherable deletion] received this Day and the Deliverance wrought The Ld. is good a strong Hold in the Day of Trouble and knows them who fear him –

Mondy. 3d. Mrs. M. rested well the last Night wh. gives me great Pleasure tho’ we have had a very str stormy blowing Night – I stat in the little Cabin wt her all of the Time – The Baby is also well – I have much to be thankful for in our present Situation that Mrs. M. is likely to do well without any medical Assistance – It cod. not here be had – on Any Account – We have exceeding bad weather Nothing but Wind and Rain – I trust in the Ld yt he will not leave us now in our present Distress, but in his own Time will bring us safe to Land – may I ever retain a grateful Sense of his Favors and Mercies and learn to glorify his great and glorious Name –

Tues. 4. Sat up again the last Night wt Mrs. M. and the Child: am happy to see her so well – Have had a very blowy Night. and yet she seems to recover very well indeed and appears to be as easy and comfortable as if she was upon Land and had all the Assistance in the world – The Ld. can and does make hard things easy unto us in a very peculiar manner-

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I ought never to distrust him more; but in every future Trial to rely upon his A Promises and Grace. May I have faith to do this –

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My Dairy hath long been interrupted thro’ the great [indecipherable] and Confusion in which I have been since our first landing in this Port and am sh still but intend now to resume it, tho’ as yet we are unsettled –

May 27. I feel my mind far from been comfortable being in such an unsettled State – hope when we get to an House of our own I shall have more Opportunities for Study and meditation than at present –

My fellow Minister is now recovering – he hath been dangerously afflicted – was afraid he wod. have died, and then I shd. have been alone wh. wod. have been very disagreeable in a Place like this

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July 4. we left Sydney – and removed into the Barries at Parramatta – This was the first Day we had been settled since we were married on wd. Say we had got into an house of our own – I felt no small Degree of Pleasure in having an Home of my own in wh. I cod. speak and act freely without being affraid of of any – may I alway be thankful for every Blessing and sensible of these I enjoy -

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Sunday July 19.
My Dairy hath been greatly neglected of late on Account of one thing & another, but hope now to attend to it more – many things occur in such a Place as this wh. are worthy of Remark – This morning I went to Toongaby saw several at work as I past along – They all dispersed as approached to them; and run so fast that I cod. not reach any of them excepting to whom I spoke, and endeavoured to set before him the great Evil of Sabbath breaking – He promised not to work any more upon that Day – My mind was affected with what the wickedness I beheld going on, and was lead to speak fm. the 6th Chap. Of Revelation and the last verse, Behold the great Day of his wrath is come, and who shall be able to stand? I had a tolerable Congregation, and many seemed very attentive – As I was returning Home a young man followed me into the wood - he and told me how he was distressed for the Salvation of his Soul – He seemed to manifest the strongest Marks of Contrition – and to be truly awakened to a Sense of his Danger – I hope the Ld. hath many Souls in this Place – It will be an infinite Pleasure to me if he own and bless his own word – In the afternoon I preached at Parramatta

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Mon. 14. This morning I set off early to Sydney along with Mr Arthur (McArthur?) to hear some Prisoners I tried at a Criminal Court. Three were tried for House-Breaking; two of whom were condemned to be hung – I went to visit them after their Sentence was pronounced upon them. they appeared much distressed and alarmed at the Idea of Death, but did not seem to have any views of Gd. as a Gd. of Grace and Mercy – I cod. not but feel for their miserable Situation and bless Gd. who had made me to differ – may I live to admire & adore the free Grace of the Ld. in calling me fm. a world that lies in wickedness

Tues. 15. I left Sydney very uncomfortably to Day. Mr. Joh. & the Lieut. Govn. had begun their Differences again – The Govn. forbad Mr. John to visit the Prisoners who were to be executed on Thursday next – This Mr Jn. warmly resented – In Consequence of their Difference I cod. not visit them also – I did not think it my Duty to remonstrate with the Lieut. Govn. upon this Affair, as I was not stationed at Sydney, and therefore the Prisoners were more peculiarly the Charge of Mr. John than me – It gives me much uneasiness to see these Differences prevail – O. that they might be brought to an End!

[Transcribed by John Buchanan, Barbara Manchester, Michael Brock for the State Library of New South Wales]]